realization

so how about i realized something great.. no one is nvr happy with something great.. we always seem to run away from something when it's perfect.. whether it be in relationships, friends, jobs, and situations at home. we always want to run away when it seems too good to be true, because we know when we do take that chance that we just will fall too hard, come up with bills we can't pay for, and get into shit we can't get out of.

what i've realized is that im gonna be running away from this girl that i know she is too good for me.. so ima just simply run away from it and say fuck it. do me. if it's love it will always come back.. but until then ima just do what i gotta do. the shit i got into ima have to get out of. bills gotta get paid.

*moral of the story.. do for u cuz no one else will*

crazy sleep

UGH! i can't take it no more.. like wtf. this sleep thing is driving me fucking insane! like i haven't rly slept lately.. i'll get up every other hour... and now im up at like 2am and it's now 4am and im still not fallin asleep! like wtf is wrong with me lately? like im not myself i've been actin different and everything is fine.. im not stressin no women.. no friends.. only thing im stressin is school like. i should be fine.. =/ idk what's wrong wit me. more shit i gotta deal with i guess.

writing for the sake of writing

hmm idk what to talk about.. cause there's soo much going on. As most of my friends know i still have the clutch problem.. it's gonna be $300 just to get a new one.. then i gotta get it installed which would be about another $300. not to mention i need $500 for my wiring harness that's still getting built as I type this thing. ugh everything has been so damn hectic lately. 2 fucking jobs. late nights. early mornings.. and school. it's just too much ya know. and now my dad is tryna buy shit for him and spend over $2000 for a motorcycle for himself. (it's suppose to be for me... but he's looking for him) ugh i don't even care about the motorcycles anymore.. im more into the car scene anyway.. and i could care less if he sold my bike and got something else. So yeah that's bascily a sum of my life right now. =/ it's all bullshit and im still broke as ever.. even with 2 jobs im still not making much money after all my expenses (phone and gas and food.) i actually been hustlin tho.. like im not proud of what im doing but im making the extra money i need. and i rly just need this $600 so i can get to school and work to make the money. it's just hard ya know. not mention everyone wants my attention.. cause they going thro some drama.. and when i tell them about my shit it always gets changed back towards them. it's like they don't fucking care. but w.e i'll just get thro this shit sooner or later... i hope

i don't need a title

"Life is short, break the rules, forgive sooner, love with true love, laugh without control and always keep smiling.Maybe life is not the party that we were expecting, but in the mean time, we're here and we can still dance....."

picnic

So i was suppose to have a picnic today... and since it's not gonna happen because of obvious reasons.... im just gonna say what i would have done for this girl. It would have started off by me picking her up obviously.. in a clean car.. inside and out. I would have driven to this rly nice park.. that has a lake. I was gonna bring cold cuts, and make sandwiches for our picnic. I would have brung her favorite drinks, or the ones i rmb her talking alot about.. I would have had all her favorite music on my new mp3 that i just bought for the occassion. later in the day i would have given her the book i made just for her! The book was about all the reasons why i love her... and a few other things thrown in just because i wanted too. After she had read that... i would have finally proposed to her in person... which she always wanted... my plan was to propose with a ring pop. and if she said yes... which im sure she would have... i would have been like that's great! and would have went into my other pocket and said.. now would u do it for real... and pull out a promise ring... but unfortnately none of that is happening today. and im going to work instead.. and when i come home.. i get to do my 6 hrs of hw, that i didn't do the other night because i was soo worried about my friend.. and talking to his gf about the situation.

some things i've been wanting to talk about

So i wanted to talk about what's been eating at me for awhile now.. and that's been getting me pretty upset. I've been talking to my ex and we've hung out a couple times... but since the last time we hung out she's gone thro so much. Which i can understand she needs her space. But i just wanted to see what's up with her and check up on her to see how's she's doing.. ya know? so i've been like ignored for the past month or w.e IM's, txts, and phone calls. No big deal.. but when i last recently contacted her... it was about my friend being in jail.. which is her friend too.. she finally talked to me.. and comfort me. which was good. but it took my friend being in jail... for us to talk that i don't like. Not to mention before we even hung out we had an agreement to talk at least once a week. Well obviously that agreement has been broken.. not by me... but by her. I made the effort.. and now im tired. So if she still wants to talk to me.. she can... im done making the effort to talk to her... just because it's gotten me no where... and i get mad when im ignored. I had actually deleted her number and all yet again... but only ended up adding it again.. because... my best friend told me to talk to her... which i tried.. and oddly enough! a couple days later... he ends up getting arrested.... and she was the first person i told! funny how that works out.

my best friend...

So i got a txt at 6:10am from preston saying he was home and apologizing that i was dragged into it... i still dunno exactly what happened... which im gonna be finding out later. But im glad he's home and safe.. and i was worried sick! I had my phone on all night waiting for a phone to go pick him up at the station. I'm glad ur home bro!