happy

So today im just soo happy! idk why... but im happy and that's what counts! everything is getting better FINALLY! my dad has been more positive lately. =) and not getting that mad or at least he doesn't show it. When he drinks now it's a bit more responsible then before. My brother-in-law sent me a package of stuff for my car. =) so im happy that he didn't forget about me. =) I love him so much. He really is like the brother I've never had! I can honestly say that. and I mean that. If he ever needs me for anything i'll drive down to florida and have his back. My girl friend is just awesome. It's like she knows me. =) She knows exactly what to say to cheer me up and she just knows when there's something wrong with me. way before I even tell her. everything is just setting up perfectly. and im just soo happy. I think today is gonna be awesome! =) and omg I had lots of smilies! lmao! but yeah YAY me!


*I don't wanna jinux it tho. so yeah. hehe but if life is all about ups and downs so it wouldn't matter. cause when something goes good something just brings u down again. and you end back up at that high point again! =) so far now im happy. and im gonna enjoy it!

today

Today felt like the past and it was good. =) it felt like everything else didn't matter at the time. I didn't want to go home. If I had gone home i'd have to face all the problems all over again. It was like I was free today of all my problems from 1:30-2:45 then everything came back.

It's like why I ride my motorcycle it's just something about it that makes me feel free, like I have no worries and it just makes me happy.=) I miss it alot. I shouldn't say it, I should say HER. but all good things come in time right? one day i'll be married to her, and my life again would be complete. and worry free.




*A guy can always dream right?

ughh!

Ok so everything isn't going the way I played. Im off to a shitty start in school. Im already behind and im stressing it already. =/ my dad is on my ass about getting a job. He wants me to get a job so I can make money on the side and he doesn't have to put out much money to help me out. Im affraid to get a job because then i'll just end up not having a life. I won't be able to see my friends much. I wanna help my dad with the money situation. I did it before in highschool and im willing to do it again now. then my gf is in the hospital and she's gonna be there for a few days. Her parents are like the worse. they are extremely mean to her, and they don't like me for whatever reason. I'm a nice guy I can't see why they wouldn't like me. but im not stressing that because they don't have to like me, so it's whatever.I didn't go to bed til like 2:30am and now im up at 8:30 so i've had about 6 hours of sleep. And lately that's all I rly ever need. this whole 8 hour and 10 hour sleeps just make me feel worse. Then there's my brother in law who said he was gonna come down last weekend to see me. I don't know why I got my hopes up to see him when I knew deep down inside he was gonna let me down and say something just came up. I talked with my dad so everything is ok there. We all went out to dinner last night. it was amazing! I felt soo much better. We actually felt like a family again. and I was happy to be apart of it!

now im late for school.....


*more to come...

Are u all right?

so my parents keep asking me if everything is ok, and if im alright. Im fine I tell them. But they have no idea how much im stressed. I told my dad only one lil part of the whole shit that im going thro because honestly that's what's been pissing me off the most! I didn't tell him about my other shit. which is little stuff, but there's alot of it. My dad is just like me jumping to conclusions thinking I got some girl pregnant and shit when in reality im a fucking virign! like he doesn't know. he thinks im smashing girls left and right. Im not and idk where the fuck he gets these ideas from. I sure as hell don't tell him that so idk how he can jump to these conclusions. but whatev. All these lil things i'll get over in time. I just been so overwelmed with them and how they came at me.

*More blogs to come

I might blog about what those problems are exactly and maybe get some advice. But in all honesty my problems don't need advice it's just shit that I need to get over and just let it be. and go with the flow of things. I try too hard, and sometimes that's what gets the best of me. I try so hard to something and when I fall flat on my face, I don't even wanna get back up and try again.

-Johnny signing out for now...

what we go thro

Everybody has been going thro there shit.... and it's saddening me cause im going thro shit. like it's all now on my shoulders and now im starting to feel drained. don't get me wrong I love to help ppl and when ppl share with you have a deeper connection with them. that's what I love most. but I've been helping everyone else out but me. I need to work on myself again. I feel like there's not enough of me to go around. I'm already starting to stress on school....


I hope things get better.

and there's rly only one person I wanna talk to out of everyone in my life. well actually two.

so this isn't new.

So today I've heard from someone that I wish I hadn't stopped talking to. we both decided to still talk to each other. =) I do miss our most random convos hehe they were pretty boss. =p But I just wanna say that im gonna be there again for you, and what ever you need I want to be there for you. and I definately gotta work on this smilie thing. it junda annoys me now haha.

*on a side note I bought my expensive ass books today. they were $325 =/ and I can't wait to go back to school and actually meet some new ppls =) YAY!


*Will try to write at least every other day. just to keep my fans happy =) Cause im happy when they're happy. well that's a lie im happy cause im happy but they make me happy too so it's not rly a lie

^and that's what I was talking about with my A.D.D. maybe it's more rambling but who knows it's not a problem maybe it's normal haha.