i don't need a title

"Life is short, break the rules, forgive sooner, love with true love, laugh without control and always keep smiling.Maybe life is not the party that we were expecting, but in the mean time, we're here and we can still dance....."

picnic

So i was suppose to have a picnic today... and since it's not gonna happen because of obvious reasons.... im just gonna say what i would have done for this girl. It would have started off by me picking her up obviously.. in a clean car.. inside and out. I would have driven to this rly nice park.. that has a lake. I was gonna bring cold cuts, and make sandwiches for our picnic. I would have brung her favorite drinks, or the ones i rmb her talking alot about.. I would have had all her favorite music on my new mp3 that i just bought for the occassion. later in the day i would have given her the book i made just for her! The book was about all the reasons why i love her... and a few other things thrown in just because i wanted too. After she had read that... i would have finally proposed to her in person... which she always wanted... my plan was to propose with a ring pop. and if she said yes... which im sure she would have... i would have been like that's great! and would have went into my other pocket and said.. now would u do it for real... and pull out a promise ring... but unfortnately none of that is happening today. and im going to work instead.. and when i come home.. i get to do my 6 hrs of hw, that i didn't do the other night because i was soo worried about my friend.. and talking to his gf about the situation.

some things i've been wanting to talk about

So i wanted to talk about what's been eating at me for awhile now.. and that's been getting me pretty upset. I've been talking to my ex and we've hung out a couple times... but since the last time we hung out she's gone thro so much. Which i can understand she needs her space. But i just wanted to see what's up with her and check up on her to see how's she's doing.. ya know? so i've been like ignored for the past month or w.e IM's, txts, and phone calls. No big deal.. but when i last recently contacted her... it was about my friend being in jail.. which is her friend too.. she finally talked to me.. and comfort me. which was good. but it took my friend being in jail... for us to talk that i don't like. Not to mention before we even hung out we had an agreement to talk at least once a week. Well obviously that agreement has been broken.. not by me... but by her. I made the effort.. and now im tired. So if she still wants to talk to me.. she can... im done making the effort to talk to her... just because it's gotten me no where... and i get mad when im ignored. I had actually deleted her number and all yet again... but only ended up adding it again.. because... my best friend told me to talk to her... which i tried.. and oddly enough! a couple days later... he ends up getting arrested.... and she was the first person i told! funny how that works out.

my best friend...

So i got a txt at 6:10am from preston saying he was home and apologizing that i was dragged into it... i still dunno exactly what happened... which im gonna be finding out later. But im glad he's home and safe.. and i was worried sick! I had my phone on all night waiting for a phone to go pick him up at the station. I'm glad ur home bro!

you can always find out more about someone

So i was talking to this one girl.. she's a pretty cool friend or w.e and we were talking about how u can nvr stop learning something new about someone. and i was like yeah that's soo true.. cause just the other night i was talking to my best friend. and he was telling me shit that i nvr knew about him or what i would even think he was into.. meaning like things he likes to do. so it's nvr to late to learn about any1.

feeling left out?

U ever have the feeling where everyone doesn't want to tell u the whole truth? and for some odd reason u can kinda tell that it's because it's something bad. Idk but ppl aren't being honest with me lately! it's like wtf. it's just not my friends tho.. it's family too now. i figured out the family one out rly quick tho.. and there was nothing wrong with it.. it was just something my dad felt ashamed of.. and didn't wanna tell me. but he actually nvr told me.. my mom did. but anyway.. then there's my friends.. they don't wanna tell me what's buggin them and it hurts just as much as if they were family ya know? cause all my friends are good friends of yrs! and some since like grade school. So at times i consider them to be as family cause i basicly known them all my life.

the begining comes to an end.

So as everyone knows.. i made my car stick shift or w.e haha spent a lil more than 2 stacks to do it. saved up alot and hustled for it. took about 3-4 months but i did it. finally something for me. and no one else. im getting tiredd of doing shit for others and they do nothing for me. it's crazy. I had the most amazing 21st bday. came home to a bunch of friends that couldn't wait to chill with me and see what i did to my car. but i also came home to a bunch of drama as well. but i tend to look at the positives so it wasn't much of a problem.... like right now i got my clutch fixed.. didn't cost me too much but it's w.e it's just money.. as long as im fine i couldn't be happier. but now i might need new tires which might be a big deal to others.. but i rly don't like the tires i have now.. so it's all good to me. hehe. im tempted to do burn outs so i can get them faster.. lol. but yeah.. i've gotten a lil closer to my sisters.. which has been pretty cool. talk to my brother in law like at least 3 times a week. =) me and my dad still get on each other's nerves but he's always there for me so i can't hate it. Just a few things missing from my life right now for me to be happy with everything. can't wait to finish it off. and it's looking very promising! =)